If you and your significant other are two of the millions of other couples who have read E.L James’ Fifty Shades of Grey, then you may be considering BDSM sex. While previously, BDSM and bondage sex were not something you would mention in everyday conversation, the trilogy of books, and now movies, has opened up a whole new realm of discussion.
It’s now not taboo to mention tying up your significant other and putting a ball gag in their mouth. Nor is it uncommon to keep a stockpile of handcuffs and horsewhips.
If you’ve been fantasizing about bondage porn – and you’ve been toying with the idea of introducing it into your relationship, we’ve included some tips on how to get started. It can be easier than you think.
Get Comfortable Talking about Sex
Not every couple is open about sex, even if you have it on a regular basis. You may not feel comfortable talking dirty, whispering sweet nothings into your significant other’s ear, or even talking openly about sexual positions you would like to try. You can’t expect to then transition from missionary into bondage sex without first being open with your communication. BDSM is in an entirely new league to traditional sex, and if you blush just talking about it, you will never be able to try it out with your partner.
To get comfortable talking about sex – including bondage sex and BDSM, it may be helpful to listen to podcasts online, listen to experts, and get comfortable with your sexuality. The more you listen to words of wisdom from experts, the more you may realize that it’s not a topic of which to be afraid.
Ensure You Have Balanced Roles Outside the Bedroom
If your partner dominates you in everyday life, or you them, then introducing bondage sex and BDSM into the bedroom is not going to work. You need to be on an even playing field in everyday life. Otherwise, you will do the opposite of spicing up your relationship. You may end it instead.
BDSM and bondage sex involves trust and roleplaying – someone who can be dominant but don’t possess that dominant trait outside the bedroom. If your husband or wife tells you what to do and controls your life, then it sounds like you need to work on your relationship before you work on your sex life.
BDSM Ends in the Bedroom
During BDSM, roleplay, and bondage sex, you both play a part. You can call each other names in the heat of the erotic moment, grab and slap, and spank each other’s bums. Doing so is all part of the experience, and it creates a spice, unlike anything you may have experienced before. However, this behavior should end in the bedroom.
If your significant other begins calling you a filthy girl when you’re at a public café for breakfast or spanks your bum in the fresh produce aisle of the grocery store, then you’ve crossed a line. BDSM is something you can enjoy in the comfort and privacy of your own home, but the domination and erotica end there. Once you’re outside those four walls, you resume your regular daily order.
Before you go ahead and introduce bondage sex and BDSM into the bedroom, you may like to run through the ground rules.
When you decide to spice up your sex life with BDSM and bondage sex, it can be life-changing. Given that a significant number of people said 50 Shades of Grey saved their marriage, it’s clear to see change can be as refreshing as a holiday. However, you can’t just jump right in and hope you can remember some of the chapters of the book. Without knowing what’s involved, how can you expect to be able to do it?
Learning how to take part in BDSM and bondage sex takes a little bit of research – just as you would refer to the Kama Sutra book for tips on new sex positions. Look online, visit online porn sites, and flick through the pages of 50 Shades of Grey again one more time.
To introduce bondage sex and BDSM into the bedroom correctly, you need to start slow. Don’t jump right into the Red Room of Pain with horsewhips and gags. Instead, focus on the small changes you can make to spice up your sex life. Before long, BDSM and bondage sex will become a much-loved part of your alone time.
Not everyone will find that bondage sex and BDSM is for them, but what if it is and you just don’t know it yet? Follow these tips, and you may find you spice up your sex life for the benefit of your relationship.